Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
