You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
