Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
