We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
