Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
birth control should be required to get into college
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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