He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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