I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
