I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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