My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
