you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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