Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
