he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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