Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
