You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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