She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
