How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
