shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
