Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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