i just wanna soil my oats bro
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
