So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
