I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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