Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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