Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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