It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
