we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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