My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
