Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
