She announced her abortion via fbk
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
