Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
