i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
