i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
