I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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