Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
