People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
