She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
