Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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