dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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