I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Mom said you looked used
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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