Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
