he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
