Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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