i don't like sucking hair
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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