and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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