You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
