I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
