Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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