Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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