How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
