Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
