I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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