is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
