Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
This is my gift to your gina
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
