She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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