margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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